I Shall Believe always
by MariaCandice
Summary: This song-fic is dedicated to all those who love angst. I really feel for Hermione. I hope this never happens...


[A/N: I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow is my all-tme favourite song. I suppose I can blame Roswell [_the TV series_] for that. I thought it was the best episode they had, when this song was played. I was feeling especially angsty the time I wrote this. I hadn't talked to my boyfriend the whole day, and I missed him terribly.  
My first attempt at song-fics, this one, and I couldn't be more proud of my baby. But do be gentle. I was very fragile when I wrote this (laughs nervously). But enough about me -]

**I Shall Believe... always.**  
  
_Come to me now  
And lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie  
Say it will be alright  
And I shall believe  
  
_It hurts. Thinking about it, hurts. Knowing it's true, hurts. If someone could just tell her it hadn't happened. If someone could just tell her, Harry will barge into the Gryffindor common room right now, sweaty, covered in mud and filth, but grinning widely and victoriously, she would hug and celebrate with that person the fact that The Boy Who Lived, and The Boy She Loved, who were the same person, had finally beaten the evil dark Love Voldemort. She would have done anything for that to be true.  
  
But it wasn't. Not the barging into the Gryffindor common room anyway. It never will be true...

_Broken in two  
And I know you're on to me  
That I only come home  
When I'm so all alone  
But I do believe_

Harry had always been her confidant, the person she found so easy to talk to, to tell her problems to, and whose shoulder was most suitable for her tears... He knew that behind her bossy, know-it-all exterior was an insecure and confused young woman. He had always known. Perhaps it was why she felt tremendous ease in caring about him so much, for his safety and overall welfare. Ron had always told her she worried about Harry so much.  
  
Ron. How can he look at her, with those strained blue eyes, bloodshot and rather swollen, and tell her everything will be okay? He shouldn't lie. How can he say these things, when the only person she is willing to believe... cannot tell her so. Nothing will ever be okay. Nothing._  
  
That not everything is gonna be the way it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right, it all comes down on me  
Please say, honestly, you won't give up on me...  
And I shall believe  
_

She starts to sob quietly, and tears make their way down her cheeks. Ron made to wipe the tears away, but she did it herself. Only Harry has the right to wipe her tears away, thanks. _Had. _

She shouldn't sit here. Too many people are staring at her and Ron. She makes an excuse, gets up from the armchair, _Harry_'s armchair, and leaves for the girl's dormitory.  
  
She reaches the door, but before she could open it, being isolated from everyone else, she turned her silent sobs into very audible whimpering.

_Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key  
  
_How could he let it happen? When she'd tried so hard to protect him from the dangers outside, from Voldemort... from himself...  
  
She cannot stop hurting. She will not stop hurting. Nobody can make her stop hurting... _He_ could. If only...

_Never again  
Will I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe  
_  
  
'Hermione...' His voice echoed in her head. And only in her head will she be able to ever hear it again. She remembers how her name sounded so magical coming from his lips. But she doesn't want to remember. She wants to hear it again. Please let her hear it again. _Please let him say her name again..._

She walks slowly to her bed, lies down, and weeps into her pillow. What a poor substitute for Harry's shoulder. Everything else will be, from now on.  
  
She should have protected him more... She should have done everything in her power to keep him from his destiny, and start their own... But he didn't let her... Instead, he gave her some poor excuse for her safety, and others' safety, then left while everyone was asleep. Her own safety meant very little to her, not as much as his anyway. Or anyone else's...

How could he let this happen?... How she hated him... Except, she didn't.

_That not everything is gonna be the way it ought to be  
It seems like everytime I try to make it right, it all comes down on me  
Please say, honestly, you won't give up on me..._

_And I shall believe..._

The world is cruel. She is all alone. And she has a feeling she will always be alone...

She needs to stop crying. She needs someone to tell her to stop crying. She needs someone to tell her everything will be the same. She needs someone to look into her brown, tear-filled eyes with his shining emerald ones and say, _promise_, everything will be alright...

And she shall believe...

_I shall believe...  
I shall... believe..._

**-The End-**


End file.
